4 signs you are acting toxic

4 Signs Of Toxic Behavior

Toxic relationships are obvious to the outside world, but when we’re in one, we often don’t realize what’s really going on until it’s too late. Characterized by emotional ups and downs, toxic relationships are exhausting, mentally draining, and can even lead to mental illness.

But not only the partner must always be the culprit – we ourselves can be toxic too. Often without even realizing it. The reasons for this are often their own bad experiences, fears or doubts. If you are questioning your own behavior, pay attention to these signs.

1. They always talk about themselves

Whether in friendship or with a partner: You have an advantage in conversations. Even when the other person is telling you something, you interrupt frequently because you think you already know where this is going. Or because you can come up with an anecdote about it yourself.
Is it especially important for you to get rid of your worries and feelings, while hardly giving your interlocutor room? These could be signs of toxic behavior.

Even when people have different levels of communication needs, communication should never be one-way. Especially if the other person also wants to communicate.
Let your counterpart talk regularly without interrupting him. Also take his problems and thoughts seriously and be supportive or suggest solutions.

2. Controlling jealousy

Do the following unhealthy patterns of jealousy sound familiar? If you are very prudent, you tend to imagine scenarios in your head and thereby build a sense of distrust. Whether you assume that your partner is cheating on you or he no longer loves you, all such assumptions (without reasonable suspicion) often result in toxic control behaviors. Anyone who regularly checks their partner’s cell phone, constantly calls them or keeps reproaching them, is doing themselves and their relationship harm.

This behavior is usually caused by fear of loss or self-doubt. A little jealousy is normal, of course – but it shouldn’t determine our daily life and restrict our partner too much. Talk to your partner about the origins of your feelings and insecurities. Those who feel understood tend to cope better with the situation.

3. You value yourself through comparisons

This behavior is a very common toxic pattern. It doesn’t have to be aware or malicious. However, this behavior is very harmful to any relationship: they constantly point out the weaknesses and flaws of others. For example, are you complaining about your friend’s obsession with cleanliness, the stuffy family home of your neighbors, or the girl’s dress style? Don’t hide your opinion, but tell these people what you think about it. Obviously, the purpose of this is not productive, rather you point out alleged flaws to alarm people.

You can do this subconsciously because you feel inferior to others. You may be jealous that the boy is more organized than she is. Maybe you’ve always wanted a single-family home or would like to dare to wear a certain style of clothing. By devaluing others, we often feel better about them indirectly. Consciously or unconsciously, such behavior should not occur in a true friendship or relationship. Feel the need to strengthen your self-confidence in the long run.

4. You are always in defense mode

If someone expresses criticism or even simply suggests an improvement or comment, do you always feel personally attacked right away? When this happens, we quickly adopt a defensive or fighting stance. Of course, no one likes to be criticized, but the problem with this attitude is that it so often causes unnecessary conflict. Nobody wishes you harm, and nobody accuses you of being incapable. Criticism and suggestions for improvement are necessary for further development. Especially in relationships, it is important that partners can talk to each other openly and results-oriented. Try to bring out your personal emotions here and objectively ask the other person how things can turn out better.

In the video: Identify toxic compounds with these signs

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