Top tips from flirting expert Horst Wenzel

Lips come closer, hearts beat faster – and when a kiss comes in, time stops for a moment. When two people kiss, you can hear a noticeable crackling noise in the air. Kissing is considered the language of love for a reason. The International Kissing Day on July 6 commemorates the passionate fun of the lips and reminds us why kissing is so healthy and important. After all, a kiss is something very intimate – and it allows the happiness hormones to flow through the body.

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But while kissing is nice, it can also be quite an uncomfortable dating experience. Too much tongue, too little feeling: There are many reasons why a kiss can go wrong sometimes. The fact that beginners often have trouble kissing is mainly due to their nervousness, explains flirting coach Horst Wenzel. Therefore, the first kiss is usually a bit bumpy. “A kiss should never go from zero to 100. Anyone who kisses too quickly and frantically rarely makes the other person feel good,” emphasizes the expert at the Flirtuniversity dating school.

By candlelight or at sunset: it all depends on the right atmosphere

Too much enthusiasm often has the opposite effect of the first kiss. It’s better to be cautious – and above all empathize with the other person. “Many people are too close to each other when kissing. I always feel so much more passionate when I’m with my partner – and I listen to him with my mouth, so to speak, ”explains Wenzel. After all, the tastes are different: some like to gently nibble at the lips when kissing, while others prefer a little more tongue. To find out, according to Wenzel, you need to go on a tour of discovery.

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Just as important as technique is the right mood when kissing. “Candles, sunset and passionate music are real romantic inspirations. If the mood is right and they are both together, kissing works much better, ”emphasizes Wenzel. A good time for the first date kiss is therefore also the moment when the mood has reached a noticeably high point.

Sometimes softer, sometimes more wildly: vary the pace of kissing

A good kiss also depends on how you touch your kissing partner. According to Wenzel, too many neglect this. “If I put my arms around my partner, stroke my hand or run my hand through his hair, kissing is more romantic and passionate,” says the expert.

When it comes to kissing, pace also plays a role: “The trick is to vary the rhythm. If I slow down, for example, a kiss is often especially romantic. ” Careful pauses can also increase the excitement of kissing, as long as the technique is right. “If you draw your lips a little and look deep into the other person’s eyes, you both want more and more. But many kiss until the other person is no longer angry, ”says Wenzel.

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Horst Wenzel is a flirting coach. At her Flirtatious University, she helps singles in dating seminars.

French kisses are especially intimate and difficult

But kissing can also be a bit wilder – here, too, it’s important to consider the other person’s preferences. French kisses are considered especially exciting, intimate and at the same time demanding. If you use too much tongue or kiss too feverishly, passion will quickly fade away. “Even with French kisses, it’s important to approach it slowly. At the beginning, just open your mouth a little and start gently, ”advises Wenzel.

According to Wenzel, kissing requires a lot of courage – and a lot of experience. And if it doesn’t creak that much when kissing on a date, it’s not the end of the world. Kissing is a type of compatibility test that two people can use to find out if they are compatible. “But there were also many who only succeeded after the third kiss attempt” – emphasizes the expert.

Kiss on a stamp: When kissing becomes routine for couples

Interestingly, kissing is sometimes not a problem only for inexperienced kissers. Wenzel also sees a need for improvement in many pairs. “In many relationships, kissing has become a routine activity, so for many couples there is nothing more than a stamp kiss,” says Wenzel. It means short, passionate kisses that are as unromantic and hectic as checking in and out with a badge at work. “It’s always bad when there is monotony – it’s similar to sex. Couples can break the routine by spending more time on passionate kisses or trying something new, ”he said.

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There are also relationships in which the couple do not like to kiss at all. “Often this is because they have never adapted to their individual kissing preferences,” says Wenzel. If kissing doesn’t work, the expert advises you to seek conversation – both in relationships and on dates. “The flavors are different so you can talk about them. When you’re dealing with awkward kisses, just telling them to relax their lips often helps – it can also distract you from you, ”says Wenzel.

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