Love can be expressed in different ways. With small gifts, delicate touches or just a nice message. Science knows all this too, and therefore has an idea The languages of love developed. It describes the five different relationship languages that exist in partnerships. Find out here what it is all about and which love language you can use most often.
All about the “languages of love”:
The origin of the languages of love
The concept of love languages was coined by couples and relationship counselor Gary Chapman. He was sure that there were five different languages for universal relations, who live in partnership and who are responsible for the feeling of being loved. Chapman’s books have also been translated into German since the 1990s.
In these, the relationship counselor compares the personal language of love with a foreign language. Communication difficulties arise when two native speakers meet. However, if the partner learns a second language, communication becomes possible – only in the learned language, of course.
For optimal communication they should therefore both know and learn the “mother tongue” of the other.. All this can also be transferred to the language of love: if the partners know the other’s language of love and are able to “speak” it, nothing stands in the way of a harmonious relationship.
These are the five languages of love
Now that we’ve explained the origins of love languages, we don’t want to deny you which five love languages Chapman was able to filter out of his research. Maybe you will find yourself in all the languages of love, but usually we are only concerned with the language of relations.
So think about which of the following things are best for you and your heart, and would like to be treated most of all in a relationship with your partner – or how you express love for others.
1. Praise and recognition (words of affirmation)
people with this relational language love it, compliments and give or receive praise. If you carry this love language within you and show your love to others, you often see special achievements and kindness more than others. You have the gift of finding the right words for every compliment and appreciation and show other people that you appreciate, respect and sincerely appreciate them.
Often these people do not even notice that they are constantly praising because for them it is something natural and absolutely obvious. Not only do you like giving credit, You would also like to receive them yourself, and thus feel seen and appreciated.
2. Commonality (Quality Time)
If you are someone who has chosen community as their language of love, time spent together is extremely important to you in your relationship. Dinners, conversations, rituals or physical attention together you can’t miss. With your undivided attention that comes smoothly, you are showing your partner that right now there is only he or she for you.
You feel most loved when your partner wants to spend time with you. Active eye contact and full presence are the basis and end of everything. You want to spend a lot of time with your significant other, have deep conversations and activities that you can talk about for days.
3. Gifts that come from the heart (Gifts)
If you call this love language your own, you love it when your partner: gives you a little everyday surprise. You yourself show this love language with small gifts that you have thought of the other person. However, material value plays no role here. It can also be something of your own or just a thought that relates to the other person. Take your time when choosing a gift and you appreciate when others do the same.
4. Attention and assistance (Acts of services)
“Actions speak louder than words” is the motto of this love language. Sentences like “Can I do something good for you?”, “If you need anything, let me know” or “What can I do to make you happy?” is the standard vocabulary for people in this relational language. You don’t help because you have to, but because you like to do it and take it for granted.
That’s why you love it when your partner does the laundry in you or is just there for you, when you need it. This will show you that your better half I tried something to make your life easier and thus proves his love for you.
5. Sensitivity (physical touch)
For people with this language of love there are hugs and pats are a must and leave you feeling good. This tenderness not only shows you love from others, but also communicates your feelings to your partner. For you, a tender touch matters more than saying “I love you”.
For you, in connection with this language of love, sex is also an exchange of tenderness. Every touch and every confession can therefore be a sign of love.
The languages of love: they can also be two different
AND? Are you in these languages of love? If so, you may have noticed that a few things apply to you. This is perfectly normal. We often adapt different love languages to communicate with othersbecause we see what is good for the other and thus learn his language.
Besides, it is quite possible that the language of love that makes you feel most valuable it is not at all the one through which you consistently express your love for others. However, there are often parallels here. After all, what is good for us seems right, so we use this language of love for others as well.
So try to communicate carefully with your counterpart and you will soon find out what language of love your partner speaks!
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